Reconciliation means to settle or resolve, to reestablish a close relationship. We live in a hurting world where strained relationships are very common and in most cases EXPECTATIONS from others is the root cause. One needs to realize that every relationship on this earth is between two IMPERFECT people. I feel the most difficult task that one can do and call it as an achievement is to get reconciled in a relationship. This requires one to lay aside their “EGO” and take a step forward in this direction. We all expect the first move from the other person and in this process time just passes by. What we don’t realize is that “TIME” is the most uncertain factor of our lives. We are not sure what is in store for us in the very next second and to put off something so important as reconciliation for a later time is to invite regrets. A broken relationship causes more stress and living with it is like limping around with a broken leg. Getting reconciled is the best stress buster exercise in a relationship. It just relieves our minds of all the negative feelings and thoughts that we have when we see or think about the other person. Here’s a long but good story of reconciliation between a father and son.
In a class I teach for adults, I recently gave an assignment and that was to "go to someone you love within the next week and tell them you love them. It has to be someone you have never said those words to before or at least haven't shared those words with for a long time."
Now that doesn't sound like a very tough assignment, until you stop to realize that most of the men in that group were over 35 and were raised in the generation of men that were taught that expressing emotions is not "macho." Showing feelings or crying (heaven forbid!) was just not done. So this was a very threatening assignment for some.
At the beginning of our next class, I asked if someone wanted to share what happened when they told someone they loved them. I fully expected one of the women to volunteer, as was usually the case, but on this evening one of the men raised his hand. He appeared quite moved and a bit shaken.
As he unfolded out of his chair (all 6'2" of him), he began by saying, "Dennis, I was quite angry with you last week when you gave us this assignment. I didn't feel that I had anyone to say those words to, and besides, who were you to tell me to do something that personal? But as I began driving home my conscience started talking to me. It was telling me that I knew exactly who I needed to say 'I love you' to. You see, five years ago, my father and I had a vicious disagreement and really never resolved it since that time. We avoided seeing each other unless we absolutely had to at Christmas or other family gatherings. But even then, we hardly spoke to each other. So, last Tuesday by the time I got home I had convinced myself I was going to tell my father I loved him.
"It's weird, but just making that decision seemed to lift a heavy load off my chest.
"When I got home, I rushed into the house to tell my wife what I was going to do. She was already in bed, but I woke her up anyway. When I told her, she didn't just get out of bed, she catapulted out and hugged me and for the first time in our married life she saw me cry. We stayed up half the night drinking coffee and talking. It was great!
"The next morning I was up bright and early. I was so excited I could hardly sleep. I got to the office early and accomplished more in two hours than I had the whole day before.
"At 9:00 I called my dad to see if I could come over after work. When he answered the phone, I just said, 'Dad, can I come over after work tonight? I have something to tell you.' My dad responded with a grumpy, 'Now what?' I assured him it wouldn't take long, so he finally agreed.
"At 5:30, I was at my parents' house ringing the doorbell, praying that Dad would answer the door. I was afraid if Mom answered that I would chicken out and tell her instead. But as luck would have it, Dad did answer the door.
"I didn't waste any time - I took one step in the door and said, 'Dad, I just came over to tell you that I love you.'
"It was as if a transformation came over my dad. Before my eyes his face softened, the wrinkles seemed to disappear and he began to cry. He reached out and hugged me and said, 'I love you too, son, but I've never been able to say it.'
"It was such a precious moment I didn't want to move. Mom walked by with tears in her eyes. I just waved and blew her a kiss. Dad and I hugged for a moment longer and then I left. I hadn't felt that great in a long time.
"But that's not even my point. Two days after that visit, my dad, who had heart problems, but didn't tell me, had an attack and ended up in the hospital, unconscious. I don't know if he'll make it.
"So my message to all of you in this is: Don't wait to do the things you know need to be done. What if I had waited to tell my dad - maybe I will never get the chance again! Take the time to do what you need to do and do it now!" …. By Dennis E. Mannering
Here’s a beautiful quote that I read,
“Life is too short to wake up with regrets. Love the people who treat you right.Forget about the ones who don’t. Believe everything happens for a reason.If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it.Nobody said life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it”
Forgive and Forget, Get reconciled today. TIME is running out.
God Bless you
Now that doesn't sound like a very tough assignment, until you stop to realize that most of the men in that group were over 35 and were raised in the generation of men that were taught that expressing emotions is not "macho." Showing feelings or crying (heaven forbid!) was just not done. So this was a very threatening assignment for some.
At the beginning of our next class, I asked if someone wanted to share what happened when they told someone they loved them. I fully expected one of the women to volunteer, as was usually the case, but on this evening one of the men raised his hand. He appeared quite moved and a bit shaken.
As he unfolded out of his chair (all 6'2" of him), he began by saying, "Dennis, I was quite angry with you last week when you gave us this assignment. I didn't feel that I had anyone to say those words to, and besides, who were you to tell me to do something that personal? But as I began driving home my conscience started talking to me. It was telling me that I knew exactly who I needed to say 'I love you' to. You see, five years ago, my father and I had a vicious disagreement and really never resolved it since that time. We avoided seeing each other unless we absolutely had to at Christmas or other family gatherings. But even then, we hardly spoke to each other. So, last Tuesday by the time I got home I had convinced myself I was going to tell my father I loved him.
"It's weird, but just making that decision seemed to lift a heavy load off my chest.
"When I got home, I rushed into the house to tell my wife what I was going to do. She was already in bed, but I woke her up anyway. When I told her, she didn't just get out of bed, she catapulted out and hugged me and for the first time in our married life she saw me cry. We stayed up half the night drinking coffee and talking. It was great!
"The next morning I was up bright and early. I was so excited I could hardly sleep. I got to the office early and accomplished more in two hours than I had the whole day before.
"At 9:00 I called my dad to see if I could come over after work. When he answered the phone, I just said, 'Dad, can I come over after work tonight? I have something to tell you.' My dad responded with a grumpy, 'Now what?' I assured him it wouldn't take long, so he finally agreed.
"At 5:30, I was at my parents' house ringing the doorbell, praying that Dad would answer the door. I was afraid if Mom answered that I would chicken out and tell her instead. But as luck would have it, Dad did answer the door.
"I didn't waste any time - I took one step in the door and said, 'Dad, I just came over to tell you that I love you.'
"It was as if a transformation came over my dad. Before my eyes his face softened, the wrinkles seemed to disappear and he began to cry. He reached out and hugged me and said, 'I love you too, son, but I've never been able to say it.'
"It was such a precious moment I didn't want to move. Mom walked by with tears in her eyes. I just waved and blew her a kiss. Dad and I hugged for a moment longer and then I left. I hadn't felt that great in a long time.
"But that's not even my point. Two days after that visit, my dad, who had heart problems, but didn't tell me, had an attack and ended up in the hospital, unconscious. I don't know if he'll make it.
"So my message to all of you in this is: Don't wait to do the things you know need to be done. What if I had waited to tell my dad - maybe I will never get the chance again! Take the time to do what you need to do and do it now!" …. By Dennis E. Mannering
Here’s a beautiful quote that I read,
“Life is too short to wake up with regrets. Love the people who treat you right.Forget about the ones who don’t. Believe everything happens for a reason.If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it.Nobody said life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it”
Forgive and Forget, Get reconciled today. TIME is running out.
God Bless you
RSS Feed
